New Year

The end of 2017 is fast approaching and 2018 will soon be here. Now I'm not one who usually takes time to reflect on how my year went and all that has happened. However, this year feels different. So much has changed in my life in the course of 365 days. I can't say it was good either. All I know is looking back on this year. I know I only can move forward. Each year I get closer to discovering who I am and who I want to be. Even though I am still young with many many more new years to come I feel as if I have aged ten years with this one. I was forced to learn huge life lessons and the impact a single life can have. I realized that even though someone may look happy and act happy they could be dying inside. Maybe know I'll try to look for more signs.... however it's never that simple.

Even though life gets hard you know you only have one choice in what direction you go in. You can only move forward. Even if you wanted to stay right where you are it's not an option. It never was nor with it ever be. Maybe we can find some sort of comfort in the fact that we are never stuck. Life changes everyday. One thing is constant though, tomorrow always turns into day. It always comes.

I grew a lot in 2017 and I know I will continue to grow during 2018. I'm looking forward to starting the year with a lovely boyfriend, friends who love me, and a family I adore. I know that no matter how hard life seems at one point or another I have people who help me be strong enough to push through. So thanks to everyone in my life, because even if you don't think you have, or do, you did or do affect me. Everyone in my life means something to me. Even if at times, I'm annoyed or angry, or wishing I couldn't care about certain people and the choices they decided to make, I care. I will always care.

So here's to the beginning of a New Year. Here's to leaving behind all the stuff that happened this year and preparing for the amazing one that is surely to come. Welcome the New Year and don't dwell on what is in the past. It's in the past, no changing it now. Do keep those great and meaning full memories of the year close to your heart.

Happy New Year everyone!

Love,

The renewed and ready for the new year and all to come,
me.

Feeling: Inspired
Listening to:Weightless By: All Time Low

Distractions

Everyone has there way to forget things, weather it's reading, writing, video games, music, T.V, drugs, alcohol, or even work. Anything that can be a distraction from the life that we live and the problems we face. The truth is though there is only so many things you can use to distract yourself. It will only work for so long. Now some people may use that distraction to avoid something till it's gone, but some things are unavoidable. Some may get over it after they finish there 'distraction' (whatever one it may be), but again some things you can't just get over. Somethings you have to face.

Maybe it will be easier after you face them. Face the change that is about to or is already happening. Once you face a change, accept, only then can you decide what to do next. Now I'm not about to sit here and tell you I'm an expert on the subject. In fact I hate change. Change is stupid and sucks, but it's unavoidable. Somethings have to change. I mean look at the human race. We have evolved. Evolution is change. A good change. Growing up is kind of a mix of a bad and good change.

When you're younger, all you want is to grow up and then once you reach high school you realize just how fast life moves. Then you will be on your own. Sometimes not even by your family. Now I'm someone who grew up too fast. Not because I necessarily wanted too, but just cause events in my life made me. Maybe that's part of the reason why I like so many little kid things like Disney movies. I knew I grew up fast and now I'm just enjoying what I have left of my childhood.

Now I am considered a child still, but if you were to actual bring this fact up to me I would proudly deny it. No one wants to be called a child, but some wish they were back to their childhood. They don't necessarily mean that being a child is a bad thing, but they just sometimes wish they could go back. Back to a time without as much stress. Back when liking a boy and being nervous to talk to him or the fact that you have a huge test coming up were your biggest problems. Back when you didn't worry about money, and work. When it was all about friends and family.

What brought on this whole post is the fact that three of my family members are moving away fairly soon. I have been pretty sad about it. I have a countdown on my phone telling me just how long I have left till my brother goes off to college and when my sister and her fiance. I am very close to my family and it's hard to know that everything is going to change in a matter of two months. I've been trying to distract myself with T.V, reading, and writing, but I realize it doesn't matter how much I distract myself. It's going to happen sooner or later. So instead I have decide to use my countdown to spend as much time that I have left with them before they move.

I know change is hard and it sucks, but it's just part of life. I'm sure we will all get used to it eventually, at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Feeling: Thoughtful
Listening to: I like it By: Enrigue Iglesias, Pitbull 

Time

Time,
What is it really?
We constantly talk about it in so many different ways.
The time lost,
The time to come,
Minutes,
Seconds,
Hours,
Days,
Isn't it all the same?
Either way we lose time with others.
As the time ticks,
We are losing time,
Time is such a limited thing,
Nothing is permanent,
If I teach this world one thing it's to enjoy every:
Day,
Hour,
Second,
Minute,
Of time with the people they care about.

Life

Life is inconsistent.
Always changing.
Never the same.
So what do we do about it?

Change is hard,
To do,
To accept.
Everthing about it makes us want to scream at times.

That's why you have to live everyday to the fullest.

Stop saying tomorrow.
Say today.

Because one day,
There won't be a tomorrow.

Don't live in the future.
Don't count down the days.

Instead of viewing things as 10 days left till so and so happens. Say I have 10 days till this change happens, what do I want to make sure I do before then.

This is my new philosophy.

Life is shorter than any of us can imagine.

So instead of counting down the days till the change happens. Live in the now.

Don't regret anything.

You have you're life to live it as you choose. So, would you change anything if you could.

Make the change.

You have the power to change you're life.

What are you waiting for?

Now it the time.

Don't wait till tomorrow.

Do it...

TODAY!

No Regretts

The world we live in is confusing. One second it shows us how life can be so amazing and bright. The next everything would be crashing down. Breaking you in ways you never thought were possible. This world is cruel. The second you have hope, happiness, anything it will destroy it. But for some reason we keep fighting because those good moments make even the worst ones worth it.

In the early years of our lives all we are is naive. We sit there laughing at the stupidest things. They may be insignificant when we grow up, but at the time, it was everything. When we are young, we don't think about all the people that are getting tortured and dying that day. No we live in our own sheltered world. That's the way it's suppose to be.

As you get older you begin to realize just how broken this world truly is. You realize that the number of people that die everyday ,(Which is 131,600 on average) they aren't just a number. Each number represents a person. A person who had friends, family, a job. When we look at this number we never want to think about the person each one of those people were. We like to look at them as a statistic.

It's better this way isn't it? It makes it easier? When we get out of bed in the morning none of us think, oh I could die today. No we just think it's just a normal day. Well that's exactly what those 131,600 people were thinking. We all would like to think that we will live for a long time. On average about 80 years. The truth is though, there are no promises, no guarantees.

So when I get up in the morning, I try to start positive. Thinking about all the things that make life worth it. You can focus on the negatives if you want. But where does that get you? Hating the world for being cruel? It's the people in this world that make it cruel. When you focus on the negatives, all you are going to be is sad, angry, mad. Instead you could be focusing on the positives. If you say there are none. Well, then you truly are blind.

Even if it is just a slight thing, as small as something not being as worst as it could or has been. This world is broken and nothing will ever be perfect in it. You will ever truly know the day you will die. This world is unpredictable. So be happy every chance you can. Treasure the moments that make everything worth it. Don't have any regrets. So that when the time ticks away and your time has come. You have no regrets.

Love Thee

Be the best person you can be,
For they should still love thee,
If they don't,
Then why have them?
People who say they love you,
But don't except you,
That's not the way it works.
If someone loves you,
They love ALL of you,
All your flaws and imperfections,
They encourage,
Pick you up when you fall,
Negative people,
Only bring you down,
Be the best you can be,
And you will find the one,
Who is ment to love thee.

Judging

A friend of mine said to me today "We live in a world where we get judged for everything we say." We judge others to make ourselfs feel better. But if we are the ones judging we are even worse than the person we are judging. Who are we to judge? We are all human. We all make mistakes. We all want to feel like we belong and are wanted. So why is it that we make others feel like they aren't liked and they don't belong. I know my words aren't going to change anything, but I just want you guys to think about something. Do you have any idea once soever how it feels to be that person? What they have been through or are going through? Don't just assume the worst of someone. Yes there problems don't justify there actions, but instead of judging and getting mad at them why not try to understand them? Say hey they could be having a really rough time. Just try to put yourself into someone else's shoes. Then you will be able to appreciate life a lot more.

Bored in U.S. History

I was bored when taking notes in history so I started writing random Poetry. Here they are short and sweet.

Poem # 1

I can not rewrite the past,
All I can say...
Is it won't last.

Love is stronger than hate,
Although it may break,
Due to hate.

I thought I found my mate,
But I learned it was too late.


Poem # 2

Hide and seek,
You and me,
Search for what to keep.

Your heart's desire ,
Still unclear,
As we sit by the fire.

Longing fills us,
Though doesn't surface,
You and I,
Best friends and still us.


I know that a lot of this is really silly, but I can't doodle so I decided to write.